Today was not a good day. Mom has been quite sleepy, confused and short of breath for the last 2 days. Today, Penny, my aunt, came over for a visit. Thank God that she did because she was such a help making phone calls, tracking down information about getting a mask for my mom's oxygen machine. Calling the doctor to find out what we should be doing regarding meds. I don't know what I would do without her. Well, when she finally had spoken to a doctor, she was told that mom's oncologist will be contacting me in order to discuss the dreaded "H" word. Hospice. I am not looking forward to that conversation.
Tonight, I talked with my mom. A lot more than I have in the last couple of days. I asked her if she thought it was time for her to go Home. She said not yet, but probably soon. She said she wasn't scared. But then she said, she was scared just a little bit. She just doesn't want to leave us. She doesn't want to miss out on the little things like Christmas. She will always be with me. I will never go a single day for the rest of my life without thinking about her. But she's still here, and we are loving every second of it. She promised to tell me if she thought it was time. Until then, I am going to sit back and soak up some of the good moments as they come.
Britney and Dorie,
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of you...even though I haven't been there physically, please know that I have been there spiritually (in my heart). The strong faith you both have in Jesus has really shined through your facebook entries. He will definitely give you the strength to face the coming days. Having lost my mom a few years ago, I can identify the difficulty you are experiencing. Talk as much as possible together....ask questions and learn as much from your mom as possible, Britney, you will not regret this! Ask her about her childhood, growing up years, what she knows about her family (mom, dad, grandparent, aunts, uncles, etc.....these are questions that will come up as you get older. I am and have been praying for you both! Love you! "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4 Lean on your Lord and Savior....He will give you the strength and comfort you need!
Tonia